Relationships

The modern romanticism between man and woman is rooted, according to me, in two emotions – desire and expectation. I am talking about the conventional modern love. It begins with desire, which is predominantly physical for men, and emotional for women. Men are simpler in relationships of these kinds. They are usually and largely driven by testosterone and when the hollowness of sex reveals itself man’s interest in the relationship drops exponentially. From this point start expectations from the partner that are in line with man’s personal comfort. And this is also man’s biggest contribution to bitterness in the relationship. Women are far more complicated – the conventional woman. The question of dependence and the feeling of being wanted relate more with women than men. A major part of a woman’s commitment lies in feeling wanted. In other words, in a relationship, sudden loss of men’s interest is proportional to women’s increasing emotion of wantedness. That is most often the root cause of low points in any relationship. To control emotions is the very edifice of a woman’s idea of relationship.

The question of self-sufficiency comes later in a relationship. Human beings are prone to comfort even if at the cost of others. As the relationship shifts phases, personal comfort becomes the priority especially when both are living the modern stressful lifestyles. Attractions which brought them together begin to fade, vices begin to show themselves. In other words, personal spaces again start getting attention. This is where self-sufficiency plays an important role. No denying that it develops friction in the relationship as no longer man and woman feel needed, give less attention to each other. This is even deeper if there is a child involved. And that is where individual maturities play a key role in sustenance of relationship. And after all as human beings we can’t be self-sufficient in the true sense of the term, unless, of course, we choose the path of an ascetic. Even then we can’t be completely self-sufficient for we are nothing.